Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
