Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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