He kissed a someone with a penis
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
