Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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