i jhust puked up my retainher.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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