he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
