i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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