OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
