i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
