If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I checked into jail on foursquare
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
