I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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