She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize