I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do vagina's smell?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
