I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's official drugs can't kill me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
