thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
