I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
