trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
