remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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