id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
