Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I met the friendliest cop last night
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize