she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
