Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Terrible idea I love it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
