I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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