i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
