Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
