let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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