he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
