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What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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