dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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