I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
