im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
