i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
