It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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