You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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