if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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