her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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