is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
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