Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
