You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i think i have two assholes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
