Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
