I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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