honey bunches of taint.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize