watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize