I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
