I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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