saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize