yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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