What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
