Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
