She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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