At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
