i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
