i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
