So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
