take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
