You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
