we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just invented taco cereal.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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