i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
