..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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