were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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