the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize