I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
