don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
These tits shall not be calmed
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
